Category: humor

Stuff I found that was funny.

The Bat Cowl

VINYL ¾ BATMAN FACE MASK

Overheard S— talking today. Here are some snippets:

“You know how you see a girl with a hat and sunglasses on, and you think, ‘She’s pretty hot.’ Then she takes it off and she goes from pretty to ugly in like that! “That happened to me today, and I realize that’s why nobody knows who Batman is. From now on I’m calling it the ‘Bat Cowl.’

“Yeah, yeah. [the girls] know that the hat and sunglass thing is totally cute—that’s why they do it. But if [a guy] makes a judgement based on the Bat Cowl, he’s basically judging her based on her chin: ‘Excuse me, you have a pretty chin. Can you take off your sunglasses and hat?’”

Good thing I wasn’t drinking anything at the time. I’d have had coke up my nose.

Posted on by tychay 2

I just like hearing my name

As I told Ed Finker,

“Newbie, did I forget to tell you he just likes it when people say his name?”
—Dr. Cox, Scrubs Season 5

Unfortunately, Ed didn’t oblige me like he did last time. But luckily for me, Sean and Paul did. 🙂

With Cal’s PHP Abstract now on the air, the busy developer may be wondering which they should listen to. It’s simple, if you have to choose, I’ve been mentioned three times on Pro::PHP Podcast and not once on PHP Abstract.

Verdict: I recommend Pro::PHP Podcast 😀

terry chay

“terry chay” by kbconference

This is me at ZendCon. You”ll notice that I have the lens on my D200 that the two are talking about. (Fire engine red… gotta love Canon.)

[Paul and Sean are the Kevin and Bean of the PHP world after the jump.]Continue reading →

Posted on by tychay 18

Samplings from friday night

There is no way I can roll with the hip Asian lingo…

G—: Damn, you drop two hunna on a Boss shirt and you wear shoes like that?

G—: Fuck you. I’m half black. I’m black from the waist down, bitch.

(After Q— gets bounced trying to enter a strip club)
G—: C’mon, let’s got to C—.
H—: I don’t want no “numbers and call tomorrow.” I just want titties in my fucking face.
G— (to Q—): How many times we gone out? Who the hell doesn’t carry an I.D. with them?
Q—: I got my I.D. right here. (strokes beard)
G—: You just look like a fat fifteen-year-old with a goatee. Fuck, now I’m going to have to pay to get your ass into C—.

Me. Sometimes a little out of place…

…other times a lot.

[tags]asian, fashion, nightclubbing, black, strip club, carding, urban dictionary, lingo[/tags]

Posted on by tychay 0

Have we reached “Peak Ruby”?

ruby8ball

The Terry Chay peak theory, also known as peak ruby, is a not-so-influential theory concerning the long-term popularity of software languages. It predicted that future popularity in Ruby will reach a peak sometime in the year 2007 and then decline. Some observers believe that because of the high dependence of the language on hype, the impending post-peak scalability problems and possible resulting severe migration to another language du jour as the next panacea. (citation needed)

A conversation (that mostly happened):

D—: You killed Ruby! You bastard!

tpci_trends
Ruby TIOBE stats by itself

Me: I didn’t start the fire! 😀 Yeah, that one-month dip was a big deal in the Ruby community.

D—: They got bent out of shape over the tiobe stats? It was a one-month statistical glitch. They don’t know what a stat is.
D—: On that channel9 link, Replace Ruby with Java. It’s the same thing. “I’m sorry, you just used the wrong JVM. Why not use IBM’s.”

Me: No, you just don’t understand the psychology of Ruby people.

D—: I don’t.

[The psychology of Ruby after the jump.]Continue reading →

Posted on by tychay 12

Way to “PA”

Me: I mean I’m pretty shy—oh, don’t laugh, it’s true. Internally, I have to really force myself to talk to a new person. I just want to crawl into my hole.

H—: But I think you like to meet people.

Me: Especially at Caltech. You talk to a girl there are only two possibilities: 1) You talk to her with four other guys talking to her; or, 2) you talk to her for like ten seconds before four other guys come around to talk to her.

H—: Hahah. Well, you know what they say… “The odds are good when the goods are odd.”

Me: “The odds are good when the goods are odd?” Sounds like a poster advocating a Prince Albert.

Posted on by tychay 0

The Lunch 2.0 story so far

Lunch 20 @AOL.COM

LUNCH 20 @AOL.COM
AOL, Mountain View, California

Nikon D70, Nikkor 12-24mm f/4G
f/4 at 1/25 second, iso 500, 12mm (18mm)

Summer is here and Lunch 2.0 is starting up again. There are two events scheduled already, and from two of my favorite Web 2.0 startups to boot!

The first one will be at LinkedIn. Which is important because their founder is on the board of the company that pays my salary. We’re the second entry in their newly-born corporate blog! Next step: get Mario to blog about my LinkedIn Haikus (they really work, honest!).

The other one will Ning on June 14. Little known factoid: Ning was our very first Lunch 2.0, even if they didn’t know it. (Ahh, back in the good old days when Lunch 2.0 meant sneaking into a company’s cafeteria and sticking our Lunch 2.0 flag in the ground… or fork in their cake.)

IMG_0563.JPG by Mario Sundar

Gina Bianchini of Ning and Reid Hoffmann of LinkedIn at Web 2.0 Expo. Two people dear to my heart. And it’s not because they’re hosting Lunch 2.0.

Oh, who am I kidding. It is. We love you guys! 😀

The what and wherefore of lunch-two-point-oh

Lunch 2.0 is about participating in an interesting conversation over a free lunch.

If you are interested in being a diner, going to a Lunch 2.0 is really easy. Just say you’re going to attend and our hosts will deal with the fallout. 😀 Afterwards, write about it in your blog, post some photos, or produce a video. (Send us an e-mail so we can link it.) While that’s not a requirement, it’s that sort of buzz is what pays the bills when our hosts have to justify this craziness to their corporate overlords. Or, if you are a corporate overlord, host one yourself…

If you want to host a Lunch 2.0, it’s really easy to become an “eatery.” Just send Mark or me an e-mail. We really want to eat your lunch. Honest! Mark explained our philosophy best:

Lunch 2.0, much like Web 2.0, is all about being open. We welcome any companies that are interested in hosting Lunch 2.0 events 🙂

C’mon Lunch 2.0 has got to be hipper than that moleskine that you carry around to keep your lo-tech creds up.

Lunch 2.0: Taste the buzz.

Warning: A long and inconsistent story ahead

Speaking of waxing nostalgic, I think it’s about time I finally post this article about the Lunch 2.0 story. The first time I tried to write this was in response to a query by FutureWorks back in October of last year. The second was in February to celebrate the first anniversary of Lunch 2.0. This will be the third attempt, so it’ll be a long one…

It’s about time I got my story straight about this Lunch 2.0 thing (or at least, my lies consistent). What follows is the honest-to-God truth (uh, sort of).

[How we created Lunch 2.0: The True Hollywood Story after the jump]Continue reading →

Posted on by tychay 27

It’s going to be ugly

My favorite productivity trick has got to be moving everything on my desktop into a folder to be looked at later and everything in my inbox into the ” refile” mailbox.

An empty desktop and a clean mail folder and all of a sudden you’re more productive.

I think the technical term for this is “pushing the reset button”, except in my version of it, there is no shutdown notification. (If I weren’t such a poser, I’d twitter it.)

I tried that today.

[The fallout after the jump.]Continue reading →

Posted on by tychay 3

fo shizzle

In an e-mail recently someone used the phrase “fo’ shizzle.”

Now having worked at Plaxo I’ve heard the term and seen it used when we play Counterstrike and such, and it’s used on television more, but I never saw it written out. For some reason print or e-mail is different than chat or IM. I have a distinct recollection of when “da bomb” (1994) or “so ghetto” (1998) reached that point, followed by a quick musing of where the hell the term came from—I mean besides the obvious answer in this case: Snoop Dog.

Urban Dictionary provided it to me:

“fo shizzle ma nizzle” is a bastardization of “fo’ sheezy mah neezy” which is a bastardization of “for sure mah nigga” which is a bastdardization of “I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother”

I love the internet.

Posted on by tychay 0