Lolcats can never be FAIL'd

Last month, my friend and fellow kimchee-eater, M.J., had three books sent to me. FailNation, How to Take over Teh Wurld, and Graph Out Loud. That’s important that I have friends like her because I’m usually the last to know about the latest memes.

Three new books and their respective websites: FailBlog, ICanHasCheezburger, and GraphJam.

I mention this because if you happen to be in San Francisco today at 6:30pm you really need to go to the book launch party. I came to get their last book signed:

I’ll certainly be there in order to get the books signed (and then give them away later, like I did last time).

Ben Huh signing their first book.

See you at the party!

(Full disclaimer, I now work for Automattic—though I didn’t at the time M.J. sent me the books. ICanHasCheezburger, GraphJam, and Failblog are VIP customers of WordPress.com.)

Posted on October 28, 2009 by tychay 1

Champagne Starbucks

Shared a morning with two friends who are leaving Facebook after four years. Then I noticed I was the only one with ratty shoes.

I’m the only one without the cool shoes
Starbucks, South of Market, San Francisco, California

Leica M8, Cosina-Voigtländer NOKTON Classic 40mm f1.4 S.C., B+W 486 IR Cut
1/125sec, iso160, 40mm (53mm)

Even Cyan was sporting the Kitteh.

Oh well, one of the nice things about living here is other people have taste.

Posted on October 27, 2009 by tychay 2

Terry takes the Oklahoma High School Civics Test

1. What Is the Supreme Law of the Land?

The Ten Commandments.

2. What Do We Call the First Ten Amendments of the Constitution?

The New Deal.

3. What Are the Two Parts of the U.S. Congress?

Communists and Capitalists.

4. How Many Justices Are on the Supreme Court?

None. This is a trick question. Everyone knows the only people in court are the judge, jury and executioner.

5. Who Wrote the Declaration of Independence?

Jesus.

6. What Ocean Is on The East Coast of the United States?

The Mexican Ocean.

7. What Are the Two Major Political Parties in the United States?

Republican and Socialist.

8. We Elect a U.S. Senator for How Many Years?

Until they die or get caught in a wide stance.

9. Who Was the First President of the United States?

Ronnie Raygun.

10. Who Is in Charge of the Executive Branch?

Donald Trump.

Continue reading about about Oklahoma after the jump

Posted on September 18, 2009 by tychay 2

Get thee to a nunnery

Reading this article on in the Times made remember something from high school.

Miss Kubic taught the top class in freshman geometry atmy high school. We figured that’s about as perfect name as you could get for a geometry teacher.

Toward the end of the year over lunch our classmate, Adam, said, “Hey don’t you think Miss Kubic looks like Sally Fields in the Flying Nun?”

“I suppose there’s a resemblance. You should ask her if she can fly.”

“I think I will,” Adam resolved.

We left the dining hall, laughing about that, and discussing how Adam would beat a sheepish retreat from the faculty.

Instead, Adam came bursting out of McCune Dining Hall, “She is the Flying Nun!”

“Huh? No way!”

“I asked her if she’s the Flying Nun and she said, ‘Yes.’” Adam explained.

I was gobsmacked.

We found out during class the next day, that Miss Kubic had decided next year to noviate to become a nun. As she was putting a drink on her tray in line, Adam had asked her, “Are you the Flying Nun.” and she had heard, “Are you going to be a nun?” and she replied honestly, “Yes.”

Whenever I think of that, I laugh out loud a little.

I was taught geometry by the Flying Nun.

Posted on July 2, 2009 by tychay 0

Is there a doctor in the house?

John Cole points out that there is a segment of the “intelligencia” out there who don’t know that a Ph.D. entitles you to the honorific “doctor.”

“New York Times columnist and Nobel laureate Paul Krugman—who I’ve noticed some econ bloggers refer to as ‘Dr. Krugman’ with no hint of sarcasm—says now’s the time to up our daily allowance of stimulis.”

He got his Ph.D. in 1977, so I don’t understand why people are supposed to be sarcastic if they call him Dr. Krugman. What context am I missing here that would explain this?

Which reminds me, I’m the only member of my family without a Ph.D.

Which reminds me that when I was a kid, answering the phone, I often would be asked, “May I speak to Dr. Chay?”

To which, I’d have to ask with no hint of sarcasm, “Which one?”

Posted on June 16, 2009 by tychay 2

Will

I have a friend and web developer who thinks I’m really smart, but he doesn’t think much of his own abilities. During a particular coincidence of both opinions, he asked me if I’d hire him if I was in a position to make such a judgement:

Me: Of course.
Me: Why do you ask this?

Him: I was just thinking that one day you will be atop the web
Him: And I want to be part of it
…

Me: In general, the thing I find is the #1 thing necessary for success is will. And you have will.
Me: Smarts is a result of will, not vice versa.
Me: So sure I’d hire you.

He tweeted that and someone liked that.

As someone who has leaned on his “smarts” a number of times to the detriment of his own personal development, I truly believe what I said. Every day, I’m starting to realize my inner Socrates:

It seemed to me … that the people with the greatest reputations were almost entirely deficient, while others who were supposed to be their inferiors were much better qualified in practical intelligence…

I reflected as I walked away: Well, I am certainly wiser than this man. It is only too likely that neither of us has any knowledge to boast of; but he thinks that he knows something which he does not know, whereas I am quite conscious of my ignorance. At any rate it seems to me that I am wiser than he is to the extent, that I do not think that I know what I do not know.

Posted on May 18, 2009 by tychay 1

Mouths Wide Shut

It’s been a while since I’ve shared some stories about growing up.

Halle writes about talking too much. It’s funny because I think the last time I had dinner with her, we talked too much about just that—how we both talk too much.

I talk so much that people have to remind me to finish eating. Heck, it’s probably why I’m so thin—my mouth is always open, but nothing is coming in.

Pownce Launch Party by magerleagues

The chewing gum in my mouth is the closest I can come to Freud’s “oral fixation” theory of talking.

Continue reading about on talking too much after the jump

Posted on May 8, 2009 by tychay 0

Writing and speaking

I can’t find the conference speaker badges so this will have to do. The fact that it feeds my ego doesn’t hurt either!

Paul wrote something nice about me. In fact, it’s so very nice, that I can (almost) forgive him for listing me sixth. 😉

Reading his description reminds me how grateful I am every time someone reads my articles. Writing is a craft that I’m not very good at and have to work at constantly. I hope my logorrhea has, in a small way, created a little context for you and perhaps inspired some of you to blog more.

Because when I’m not trolling the internets for my name, I’m reading your blog… and growing.

Mad talks

Paul also mentioned my that I’m a conference speaker.

In light of this, I better mention that in a couple weeks in Chicago at PHP|tek, I’ll be bookending the opening keynote of Andrei, my (a)cross-street rival, with the closing keynote. I have no idea what I’ll be talking about so this should be interesting!

After that, I’ll be racing to Berlin to catch up with Andrei, in order to give two completely different talks at the International PHP Conference. I’m noticed that Thies Artzen will be there—I’ll finally get to see if the rumors of him mellowing out are true.

Maybe Keith Casey will let me dry run my Berlin talks at the PHP|tek Unconference (I hope so). Even if not, I should probably participate in the Pecha Kucha—my speaking skills have deteriorated noticeably.

What killed the whom

Finally I noticed that in an interview, Andi Gutmans, the “nd” in Zend mentioned my company:

The Java disruption by PHP is well under way. PHP is everywhere, and Zend’s solutions are being used in business-critical deployments by companies such as Tagged, Fiat, BNP Paribas, and Fox Interactive Media, to name a few. The strategic adoption of Zend in larger accounts, often in favor of Java, is related to our strong return on investment and shorter time to market.

(I guess this means I’ll finally have to figure out the difference between him and Zeev, the “Ze” in Zend.)

One thing the writer, a Java developer, doesn’t notice is that a significant fraction of Tagged is Java. This wasn’t the case when I joined the company, but it was an architectural system I made because there are some things PHP isn’t good at.

If I had to guess, when Andi is saying “Java disruption,” I think he really means “Java/J2EE” disruption. It’s a minor distinction…and one of which I’ve been attacked for when I say “Ruby” and really mean “Rails.”

Posted on May 7, 2009 by tychay 1

Affirmative Action™ figure

Many people see affirmative action as a slippery slope to Harrison Bergeron. In light of a previous article and in the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that twice in my life I’ve been an Affirmative Action™ figure.

Here they are:
Continue reading about Terry Chay affirmative action figure after the jump

Posted on May 6, 2009 by tychay 2

The Woodwork

You tell that other boy, not to touch the woodwork