My first R rated movie

Me: I’m an innocent.

Mager: I believe you are secretly not innocent.

Me: I have gaps.
Me: Hmm… I should blog that.

Maybe I should have saved this for a Seven Things post, but my first R-rated movie was Quest for Fire. I saw it with my mom.

Here’s what happened.

My dad felt that it would be okay if my brother saw an R-rated movie for his birthday party, but there was no way C—’s mom would allow C— to see Porky’s. But, somehow Quest for Fire was okay because it was “an art film.” My mom had to chaperone my-brother’s-friends-whose parents-weren’t-cool-enough-to-let-them-see-Porky’s… and me.

My brother finally did catch my first R-rated movie in cable when he was in college. Of course he was shocked because Quest for Fire puts Porky’s to shame.

When he recounted that observation to my parents, I added, “I remember seeing that. I hated it because there was no speaking, only grunting.”

“Haha! You were like nine!”

“That was a horrible movie!” Mom rejoined, “I had to put my hand in front of Terry’s eyes for nearly thing. And he kept shouting, ‘Mommy, mommy are they done pumping yet?’ The whole theatre could hear it. I was so embarrassed.”

Ahh! Quest for Fire—one of those movies that makes you wonder What the fuck was MPAA ratings board was smoking at that night?

Quest for Fire in Hulu

Kid Tested, NotNSFW! Watch the movie. Jean-Jacques Annaud lays the smack down on the pr0n industry when he gets rid of the dialog entirely.

3 thoughts on “My first R rated movie

  1. Oh god, I remember watching that with my parents on HBO — sooo embarrassing!

    Thanks for the laugh-out-loud. And the link. I’m sure it’s a completely different movie now.

  2. La Guerre du Feu ! I watched this movie in a theater when it came out, with my mother, a friend of mine and his mother. About the same age as you. Going to the theater was not something we used to do often, especially with our parents. I remember a scene with a fat girl being caught by one of the prehistoric guy. I think our mothers were more embarrassed than us, still I was embarrassed for them. But the movie was great 🙂

  3. @Chris Snyder, @Bertrand Mansion: Now you mention it, I remember the fat girl. The most memorable scene for me was them spending the night in the trees and giving the wheat to the wooly mammoths (who I thought were so cool) after they chase away the sabre tooth tigers (or something).

    Of course, my mom covered my eyes for a lot of it, or else I’d remember all the doggy style that was going on. 😀

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