S—: Hey, Terry. She broke up with me last night.
Me: I didn’t know you were dating someone.
S—: Can I join your Afraid-of-Women club?
Me: You have to be the one to break it off first. It’s like Whac-A-Mole
The Doctrine of Pre-emption probably works as well here as it did for the Bush Administration
[More relationship strategery after the jump.]
S—: Hah! But we’ve only been seeing her for a month and it was going so well—or so I thought. And then *bam!* she drops me!
Me: Oh, when that happens, you might as well jump into the first stage of grief.
Sure she’s on “Acceptance” but the best way to regain the initiative is with “Denial.”
S—: Fucking devastation—it hurts like a bitch. I don’t know how people survive it.
Me: Me neither. But I think I found why you have bad luck in relationships.
S—: Why?
Me: You talk to me about them.
