So I got a PS4 and here's why

[This…](http://www.idigitaltimes.com/articles/21763/20140203/xbox-one-is-terrible-five-reasons-regret.htm)

> The Kinect Can’t Tell A Dog’s Ass From A Human Hand

> I wish that headline was hyperbole. I wish I was exaggerating. But in the two months of having an Xbox One it constantly confuses my dog’s ass for a human hand. Whenever one of my dogs hops on the couch, or even walks past it, the Kinect (more often than not) interrupts whatever I’m watching (because there’s no games, remember?) with a hand gesture icon. It doesn’t select anything, thankfully, but remains on the screen for a few moments and is generally just annoying. And the more it happens the more annoying it gets.

> And it’s not just my dog’s ass that the Kinect has problems with. Microsoft apparently failed to realize that actual human beings sitting on a couch might, occasionally, use their hands. I guess the Kinect test couch was in a setting without cellphones or snacks or lively conversation. If my wife makes a gesture while telling me a story, or I pull my phone up to send some texts, I usually hear the telltale “ding” and my screen goes dark and there’s the hand icon floating on the screen. And, according to Xbox support, there’s really no way to stop this from happening.

> So (nearly) every time my wife talks, or I send a text or my dog crosses the room I have to throw up a “Heil Hitler” gesture at my Kinect so I can continue watching what I want.

(I’ll tell you when it’s actually worth owning over a PS3. Right now, I’m still in [the first stage of grief, the best stage :-)](http://terrychay.com/article/relationship-clubs.shtml).)

Mailing list talk has consequences

One of my engineers was leaving the building for a late lunch and held the door open for me and another director. Before we parted, we had a short chat in the doorway about approvals on a purchase order.

“Hey, I need to see your ID!” Building security yelled at us.

“Huh? What?” H— replied?

“That’s the new policy. I need to ask to see everyone’s keycard.”

“It must be related to that mailing list thread.” I told H—, matter-of-factly. (For over a week now, an internal mailing list thread has been going on about building security. I stopped reading when someone suggested that the only way to solve this was to install lasers to detect when two people enter with one card, and another one argued that we should just make an HR policy to fire anyone who lets anyone in without proper ID. The reason I stopped was because neither post was trolling us in jest.)

The building security guy continued indignantly, “Even if I know you, even if you’re a manager—and I know you two are managers. L—, the head of the company, said I must to ask for your ID or call her down to greet you in the lobby.” (Sidenote: L— is not the head of the company. On the other hand, poor L— suggested on the mailing list that any solution hopeless because building security is seriously underpaid by the owners, perhaps to the point of illegality.)

I joked, “Even if I thought the discussion that touched off this policy was a waste of everyone’s time?”

Building security apparently has about as much humor as our company mailing list. So I reluctantly dug through my wallet and and pulled out a blank white piece of plastic, that may or may not have been my car parking card—they’re identical and I do not have an RFID reader on my person.

He let me through anyway.

That’s good, because to this day I do not know the average airspeed of an unladen swallow.

Pear-to-Pear networking

> This resume I’m reviewing claims the dude developed a “pear-to-pear private tracker”

Since [I had ComicLife open anyways][techcrunch], this was too good to pass up:

pear-pear networking

[techcrunch]: http://terrychay.com/article/the-only-people-who-read-techcrunch-are-your-competitors.shtml “The only people who read tech crunch are your competitors”

Toilet Paper Chicken

“Ahh,” a friend sighs to me. “I just had to buy some rolls of toilet paper!”

“That happens sometimes,” I reply thoughtfully.

“No, they’re for my place and I’m not even living there.”

“How did that happen?”

“My roommates ran the toilet paper down.”

“So why didn’t they get some?”

“Well I have two. One is leaving and using my bedroom; the other is just moving in and using the other bedroom.”

“Oh!… Umm?”

“Well I guess one figured since she’s leaving she doesn’t need to get new toilet paper. And the other figures she’s just moved in and shouldn’t be buying toilet paper either.”

“So they’re just playing a big game of chicken over the toilet paper?!”

“I guess so.”

(Roommates. I’m so glad I don’t have them. Can you imagine this game? The moment you “win” congratulations; you’re MacGyver now.)

Satanism… or worse

Girlfriend: “Everyone was asking about me—even family members. It’s probably better I wasn’t invited to her wedding. I know what would have happened if I showed up. Her mom would have come up to me and said, ‘So, how is your walk with God doing?’ and then she would have asked me about you.”

Boyfriend: “You should just tell them I’m a Satanist.”

Girlfriend: “Hah! Instead of a Catholic? That would have gone over well.”

Boyfriend: “Or… even worse, that I believe President Obama was born in Hawaii. That would have really freaked them out!”

>:)

Our Lucy Liu

In the Japantown parking lot, my girlfriend starts the topic:

Her: My roommate, Nora, moved down to Los Angeles the other week.

Me: Yeah?

Her: …and already someone down there stopped her in the street and told her she looks like Lucy Liu.

Even *I* get that a lot…

Me: Oh God! She looks nothing…

Her: Yeah, anytime white guys see a pretty asian girl, they say she looks like Lucy Liu.

Me: Ha! …or Michelle Yeoh.

Her: Because they’re the only two asian people they know.

Me: And if it’s a guy it’ll be Chow Yun Fat or Jet Li.

Her: White guys thinks it’s a compliment. But what they’re really saying is, ‘All Asians look alike to me.’”

DSC_5201

Nora and friend
Steak A5A, North Waterfront, San Francisco, California

Nikon D3, Nikkor 24mm f/1.4G, SB-900
1/24sec @ ƒ/2, iso2000, 24mm

Nora at her going away party. (For you white people, Nora is the one in the picture that looks like Lucy Liu.)

Me: I wonder which one they say I look like?

Her: Umm……

Me: …probably Michelle Yeoh.

(If she wasn’t parking at that moment, she’d have hit me.)

DSC_5203

Nora
Steak A5A, North Waterfront, San Francisco, California

Nikon D3, Nikkor 24mm f/1.4G, SB-900
1/25sec @ ƒ/2, iso2000, 24mm

Now that you mention it, she does sort of remind me of Chow Yun Fat.