I want a PWNy

Someone has a problem with their “WAP” installation…

PHP Bugs: #48139: MySQL Integration

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tychay

light writing, word loving, ❤ coding

9 thoughts on “I want a PWNy”

  1. @Nabeel: My best guess is that he was trying to use dl() to load one of the MySQL install’s .dll files, instead of actually running his MySQL server. Hard to say though, the rant only went into detail about how angry he was.

  2. Yeah I wish he’d provided some actual details so somebody could point out his silly mistake and make him feel stupid.

  3. I feel better now that I’ve emailed him a quick how-to.

    I always feel a bit frustrated when people doing bug triage get baited like andrei did there.

    I mean, the people on the other side of the php bug tracker are leaps and bounds ahead of noobs like this guy, so responding in the same fashion as him just confirms his suspicions, doesn’t solve his problem, and pisses off the people helping out (because he might come back and argue more).

    The only reason he’s angry is because he’s frustrated and kind of stupid. He lacks manners and doesn’t see anyone involved in the process as a human.

    Throwing him a link to a how-to would probably get:
    1) An ashamed apology
    2) His problem fixed
    3) Deep embarrassment which will make him think twice before ranting again against these helpful people.

    It also points to an underlying feature request:
    Make a PHP-mysql installation tutorial for different types of users, who learn differently, and don’t know how to get help from the community.

    It should be simple and point to common help channels.

  4. @Daniel: I see where you’re coming from PHP is a free and open source development language, not a tech support forum for the stupid. The next thing you know, PHP bug tracker will be used for debugging your user-space scripts. Remember this has happened to the PHP mailing lists.

    Besides, there is a lot of documentation and Microsoft has worked very hard to make his problem in particular as pain free as possible: http://php.net/manual/en/install.windows.installer.msi.php
    Even Microsoft draws the line here. They recommend hiring an MCE or paying for their support service at this point. Nor am I certain that pointing him to documentation would resolve the problem. It’s actually really hard to understand what’s going on. Is he trying to compile the DLL from scratch? Does he have MySQL installed on his machine? etc. Methinks he’s violating one of the many red warning boxes throughout the PHP documentation concerning windows compilation and activation of extensions in PHP.

    Unlike in PHP user-space scripts and packages (WordPress, etc.) installation issues have never been a factor in PHP’s phenomenal growth. Why? Because hosted PHP deployments are ubiquitous (on windows, mac, and linux).

    Throwing this guy a link would certainly not get:
    1) An apology (you’re kidding right? The person is asking DEVELOPERS to fix an INSTALLATION issue of a PROGRAMMING language for FREE)
    2) His problem fixed (his solution is to jump to Cold Fusion. Good riddance. I’m actually gobsmacked he isn’t using ASP.NET, I thought that stuff was installed on every Windows server.)
    3) Deep embarrassment (Goes against psychology, he’ll just clap harder)

    I have no pity for the guy. Resumes like his are the problem with PHP. Losing people like him to ColdFusion isn’t going to hurt PHP one bit, and it will help it a good deal.

    BTW, I totally understand where he is coming from in frustration—I was the one who coined the term “blood, sweat, and swear” when it comes to PHP development. It’s just that…

    Skiing as a kid in Killington Vermont, there is a slope called “The Outer Limits.” It is one of the more difficult black diamonds. Going down it back then was difficult, but doable. I could sustain it because I could seek little tykes half my age going down with ease. Seeing people come back intact every day is how I can board a rollercoaster also.

    If this guy stopped to realize that there are more deployments of PHP than any other web language in the world, maybe he’d have the wherewithal to slog through his problems (or give up) without having to vent his bullshit on the rest of the world.

  5. “The next thing you know, PHP bug tracker will be used for debugging your user-space scripts. Remember this has happened to the PHP mailing lists.”

    Over my smoking carcass… 😀

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