Jobs in PHP at CNET

This is actually another one of my infamous PHP job postings. But because the people of CNET are so cool, I thought I’d preface it with a couple of CNET stories first.

(I honestly don’t know if I should blog this. I have a standing invite to visit CNET networks next week and, knowing Mager and Potter, they’ll probably use this to embarrass me when I do. But I promised for weeks that I’d blog the jobs.)

CNET needs to host a Lunch 2.0

CNET needs to host a Lunch 2.0
CNET Networks, SOMA, San Francisco, California

Nikon D200, Tokina 16-50mm AT-X PRO f/2.8 DX
1/100sec @ f/16, iso250, 16mm (24mm)

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a coworker who for some reason or another had been to CNET’s headquarters recently: “The women at CNET are hot.”


He laughed, “Didn’t you just have a Lunch 2.0 there?”

Ahh, here follows my explanation on why I depend on others to tell me who is hot or not. (You’ll have to read to the end of the article :-D)

[PHP jobs and CNET hotties after the jump]

Another incident

A week later, over lunch, a different co-worker tells me, “Hey, I met this girl from CNET. She’s heard of Lunch 2.0.”

I don’t know why, but it made me think of this video and I blurt out, “Is she hot?”

“Oh yes. But I’m not giving you her number. I don’t think she’s actually been to Lunch 2.0 yet, either.”

You now have independent confirmation here that if you want to work with hot women, you should really consider these jobs:

Senior Software Engineer — CNET Networks Entertainment — San Francisco, CA

The CNET Networks Entertainment division–including, and–is looking for a Senior Software Engineer to play a key role within our development team. Responsibilities will extend to any of the applications associated with CNET Networks Entertainment initiatives. Real world experience and expertise with Linux, PHP, and MySQL are an absolute must, but a deep understanding of all web technologies from a technical and product perspective are also very important.

The applicant must have a passion for providing a great user experience rather than just looking for technical challenges. You will be working with a group of people that are all Gamers, Musicians, Couch Potatoes and/or Film Buffs that are very passionate about the information our sites provide and understand what the user wants to see. We are very focused on getting the user what he wants as fast as possible. A passion for Games, Music, TV, Movies and all things in the entertainment world is a must!

Please send resumes or questions to Linda Lee: linda.lee [at] this site.


  • Has excellent knowledge of fundamentals of software engineering and proficiency in Linux, PHP, and mySQL.
  • Must work quickly and understand that the main goal is what the user experience is.
  • Has a propensity to adapt to many different facets of software development quickly and efficiently.
  • Must be able to design and build web-based tools for editorial and production staff as well as design and build for the live site.
  • Proven skills and abilities to meet objectives on both routine and out of the ordinary assignments.
  • 4 years real-world web development and engineering experience in a LAMP environment
  • Significant development experience in a Unix environment
  • Experience in an environment involving a healthy product management organization, other architects, dev and QA process, and a customer-facing support organization
  • Proven ability to participate in multiple, concurrent projects
  • Must possess strong verbal, written, analytical, and persuasive skills, and the ability to communicate and interact with all members of the team
  • BA/BS or equivalent training and experience

Some other jobs

Also, these jobs came in my e-mail:

If you do get a job, list Andrew Mager as having referred you. He’ll get some silly thing—not gobs of cash like me 🙂

Deconstructing Terry

“…but I was a 3-2 student [double major: B.A. from a liberal arts school, B.S. from Caltech]. Loved Dabney house and the whole CS crowd however after three years at Reed where women were 55% of the class, going to a male dominated college was an interesting social experience.”
—email from a cool venture capitalist (not a fake one like me)

Why I ask…

I went to an all-boys middle school.

The high school I went to was co-education but since all the boys from my middle school matriculated to it, the ratio was around 2:1.

Then I went to Caltech. They changed the admissions policy my year to admit more women so my entering freshman class shifted the undergraduate balance from 7:1 to 6:1. Ahh yes, the endless stories I heard from upperclassman how bad it was.

And then to graduate school. Illinois may be the largest Physics graduate program in the country, but you could count the number of women in the department on one hand, and that is if you include the professors and postdocs.

I had a classmate from high school who went to the University of Chicago. He said that there women are so few and far between, that the joke is you had to wear maroon glasses (maroon, being the color of Chicago, sort of like the Harvard Crimson) to make all the women prettier.

And God forbid you forget to take off these hypothetical glasses should you leave campus.

I heard that and laughed. Given my experiences, is it no wonder I walk around with pitch black glasses? Really, when I walk down Market Street, I think every girl in San Francisco is hot.

My judgement = not good.

Yeah, photos please?

As I mentioned before, I don’t mix photos with commentary on a specific woman’s beauty in this blog. Besides, you obviously missed the part where my co-workers quite deliberately didn’t “give me the digits.”

(Not that it’d matter. How would you begin that conversation anyway? “Umm, you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I heard you were hot. OBTW, I started Lunch 2.0, let’s make sexytime.”)

But I’ll tell you that unlike me, both of my co-workers have no trouble with the women. So the girls of CNET must definitely be hot.

[tags]PHP, jobs, CNET, Senior Software Engineer, beauty, coworkers, Caltech, Shady Side Academy, UIUC, University of Illinois, physics, ratio, MySQL, U Chicago, marooners, Linux, LAMP, Lunch 2.0[/tags]

9 thoughts on “Jobs in PHP at CNET

  1. I blog about women too. The only difference is that I probably shouldn’t blog about women. Wrote a fairly insane post, that was meant to be funny.

    I see now how posts about women should be written.

  2. @Jacob Santos: So what you’re saying that the key to writing about women is being a pathetically shy nerd like me?

    Hmm, I guess it does explain Woody Allen.

  3. I work at CNET. Many of my coworkers are hot, but remember, they are smart too. 🙂

    If I weren’t taken, I’d definitely flirt with them.

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