Not a way to begin an e-mail

I got this cold-email from a Hank Z…

Mr. Chay… (Ms??)

We are the deleted

We saw your resume on the Web…

We are urgently seeking candidates who are SW engineers, and have a background in database SW development, and also expertise in mySQL.

Boy, Hank, (or is it Ms. Hank?) you recruiters know how to bring back bad memories, fuck you very much!

See, when I got in to the physics graduate school at the University of Illinois, I got a “Ms. Terrence Chay” acceptance letter from them. I thought Oh shit, I checked the wrong box. You might think this is impossible, but when I asked my father to dig up the photocopy of my application, he didn’t give a pause and I could see he was already relishing the opportunity to lord this mistake over me for the rest of my life.

(Thankfully, I checked the right box—truly, the first time in my life I filled out a form correctly. Needless to say, purchasing stuff online is always a trial for me.)

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Dihydrogen Monoxide

I open wide our refrigerator door and start the stare, “Hmm, what to have today?” Okay, what’s the worst thing to be having at 8 in the morning?

“I usually get the Talking Rain. It’s the only thing in there good for you.”

“It’s all bad for you. Haven’t heard of dihydrogen monoxide?”

“What’s that?”

Wait for it.

“Is that H2O2?”

*double take*

“I don’t remember my chemistry.”

“Look it up. You’ll like it.”

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Best. Commerical. Ever.

The first time I saw this, I didn’t think it was that good. But then I actually paid attention.

So pay close attention…

(Yes, I’ll be at Zend Conference this year. No, I won’t be drinking heavily else I’m liable to tell Keynote speaker, Joel on Software, what I really think of his software. Hint: not good. You should come! Someone needs to represent the the true spirit of the PHP world.)

Click here for the reason why this commercial rules.

Top this, Sean 🙂

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Twitter stalk

My first twitterstalk.

When I woke up, just as I was heading out from McDonald’s, I noticed Scott Beale’s tweet about being at the only In ‘N Out in the city. That was just three blocks away from me.

I first met Scott when he showed up to the Hitachi Lunch 2.0 Web Expo last year. Ever since then, I run into him shooting his Canon 5D with a 24-105mm f/4L at events that I happen to stumble upon that are halfway interesting:

DSC_6753.JPG

Scott Beale, the Tony Soprano of the San Francisco scene
Varnish, South of Market, San Francisco, California

Nikon D3, Nikkor 50mm f/1.8D, SB-800
1/80sec @ f/1.8, iso800, 50mm

(He’s gotten so used to his setup that you no longer notice it’s there anymore—and that’s a pretty big camera too.)

He was surprised that anyone he knew actually lived in the area. Scott was just heading from an event and I was late to one. (Apparently, according to someone at the Meetro party, I had a disco nap that went way over.)

Since I was late anyway, I bugged Scott about his recent appearance in a Wall Street Journal article on LOLcats. We also discussed Lunch 2.0, social networking, photography, and the insanity that is Fisherman’s Wharf.

There were a lot of funny miscommunications because we hang around in different circles and assumed we each knew the other’s peeps—his are the entire San Francisco art, culture and tech scene; mine are my imaginary friends.

Scott is a good person to know.

[tags]Fisherman’s Wharf, San Francisco, photography, Twitter, TwitterStalk, Laughing Squid, Scott Beale, nap, disco nap, LOLcats, Lunch 2.0, Wall Street Journal[/tags]

Squash soup

“Hey, What’s up? How’s your Mickey D’s?”

Me: “I haven’t left yet. You know me, I’m such a fuck up.”

“Haha.”

“I think I’m an affront to San Franciscan’s everywhere eating stuff like McDonald’s, but I got to flush out the nice food I ate today. I think I had butternut squash soup or something for lunch.”

“That stuff is good! When I came here, I had squash soup and I thought, Isn’t California wonderful? Who would have thought you could make a soup from squash? You and I are on the opposite ends of the food spectrum.”

“Yep.”

“But you do have a point. Someone like you needs to clear out the vegetables with a good meat scrape.”

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A PHP and a RoR job in the city (San Francisco)

Here are two jobs in the city. If you are interested contact Debra: datandassoc [at] this site or call 415 246 1979.

  • Senior Software Engineer [PHP]
  • Senior Interface Designer / Developer [Ruby on Rails, Ajax]

My blog is becoming a job board in this bubble, and that’s bothering me. I’m barely posting a fraction of the e-mails I get as it is. I’m only posting a job that isn’t PHP or Ajax-related jobs and I’m only if I’m asked (since I’ve achieved whore status.

You’ve been spared. 🙂

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I’m officially a LinkedIn whore

I’ve been achingly close to reaching that fabled “500+” in LinkedIn for a while now—that icon reserved only for a select few recruiters (13), marcom/sales peeps (5), product/program managers (5), founders/CEO (3), professional networkers(3), VC (2), and Adam Glickman (dude, I see you at Lunch 2.0 all the time, but still haven’t figured out what you do).

LinkedIn Pre-whore status

So on Friday, I guessed that it was time for another of my infamous LinkedIn Haiku blast to more of peeps who have had the misfortune of find themselves in my address book.

LinkedIn Post-whore status

Now, I’m officially a LinkedIn whore!

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