Tag: TechCrunch

TechCrunch dreams

In 2008, I had a friend who was the co-founder and CTO of a startup. He was getting a lot of pressure from the other co-founder to get into TechCrunch. I said, “Why the fuck does anyone want to be in Techcrunch?1 The only people who read it are your competitors.”2

…

This morning just before I woke up, I dreamt that I found out that TechCrunch had made it into the top ten most popular websites.

In my dream, Michael Arrington still owned them and through a systematic analytically-driven approach of A-B testing subject lines, content, and marketing, they had applied it to an entire network of blogs to make it very popular. Michael had picked up ballroom dancing as a hobby and even his ballroom dance blog, through this approach, had become far more popular than it deserved to be.

I started thinking, “Wow, that’s crazy. I remember back in 2005 when TechCrunch was so unknown Michael had to comment on Scoble’s blog to get traffic.3 Who would have thought it could become so popular?”

…

Then I woke up and remembered that nobody reads TechCrunch.4

  1. Usually it’s because they have a tiny ego and need to be a big fish in a very tiny, tiny pond. BTW, I remember at the time Tagged was really obsessed with TechCrunch. ↩
  2. I suppose given the big Valley circle jerk, another valid reason is if you are seeking funding from investors. ↩
  3. This part is true. ↩
  4. Not even your competitors. Because even if TechCrunch does write about you, they won’t catch it before it scrolls off the front page an hour later. ↩
Posted on by tychay 0

The only people who read TechCrunch are your competitors

> I’m playing video games and drinking champagne because after all the press I got, the only thing my client can say is “Aww. No TechCrunch? Is it too late to give them an exclusive?” [FML][]

I’ll repeat a rant I first said five years ago to a CTO friend told me his co-founder and CEO was obsessed with getting on TechCrunch.

“Why the f— does anyone want to be on TechCrunch? The only people who read TechCrunch are your goddamn competitors. Think of your product, do your customers even know WTF TechCrunch is, let alone read it?”

No. Fucking. Way.

TechCrunch for Humans

This is what TechCrunch looks like to a normal human being

Anyone who gives a shit about being on TechCrunch is someone sending a big [signal][wp signalling] that they don’t give a shit about their customer, or that their **real** customer is their investors who are stupid enough to sink money in that person’s latest grift. Anyone who wants to be on TechCrunch has a a big inferiority complex and values their ego more than their business.

> It’s okay I’m enjoying killing zombies with my friends who don’t even know what the fuck a TechCrunch is, thank God!

More dead zombies, less ‘Crunch.

[FML]: http://www.fmylife.com “F— My Life”
[wp signalling]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_(economics) “Signalling (economics)—Wikipedia”

Posted on by tychay 0