Why PHP triumphs over Ruby

“I’m really low on my scatological count here…I’m sorry I didn’t crack enough jokes or use enough [cuss words], but I’m sure people will forgive me. They can just attend one of my talks and get their cuss quota for the year. And if not, coding these web apps themselves involves a lot of swearing—a lot of blood, sweat and swear.”
—me on Pro PHP Podcast

I’m not posting my talk yet because I have to give it again at ZendCon. So here is a bit of a teaser.

A simple architecture
A simple architecture
College Park, Atlanta, Georgia

Leica M8, Cosina-Voigtländer NOKTON 35mm F1.2 Aspherical
1/45sec, iso 320, 35mm (47mm)

The Internet is an Ogre and this architecture is really quite simple.

[Do not hit the jump if you are easily offended. I really mean it!] Continue reading

Jobs in PHP at CNET

This is actually another one of my infamous PHP job postings. But because the people of CNET are so cool, I thought I’d preface it with a couple of CNET stories first.

(I honestly don’t know if I should blog this. I have a standing invite to visit CNET networks next week and, knowing Mager and Potter, they’ll probably use this to embarrass me when I do. But I promised for weeks that I’d blog the jobs.)

CNET needs to host a Lunch 2.0
CNET needs to host a Lunch 2.0
CNET Networks, SOMA, San Francisco, California

Nikon D200, Tokina 16-50mm AT-X PRO f/2.8 DX
1/100sec @ f/16, iso250, 16mm (24mm)

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a coworker who for some reason or another had been to CNET’s headquarters recently: “The women at CNET are hot.”

“Really?”

He laughed, “Didn’t you just have a Lunch 2.0 there?”

Ahh, here follows my explanation on why I depend on others to tell me who is hot or not. (You’ll have to read to the end of the article :-D)

[PHP jobs and CNET hotties after the jump] Continue reading

Flights of fancy

Flights of fancy
Flights of fancy
somewhere over the Eastern United States

Leica M8, Cosina-Voigtländer NOKTON 35mm F1.2 Aspherical
1/90sec, iso 320, 35mm (47mm)

My tweets make no sense.

This is why nobody follows me and even my friends have turned off updates.

I just can’t seem to explain my experiences in 140 characters. Maybe I should have titled this blog “The Circumlocution.” Oh well, at least two people asked me about this confusing tweet after my plane landed.

But it’s really quite a simple story, even if I can’t tell it right.

Here is a helpful diagram…

Helpful diagram

[More misadventures after the jump.] Continue reading

'tis me fav'rite day o the year

Like last year and the year before

Annual Talk Like A Pirate Day ecARRRRRRRRd
Text reads: Ahoy me mateys and buxom wenches!
The day ’tis ripe fer Talk Like A Pirate.
Ye be talkin’ like a pirate or ye be a scurvy bilge rat!
Arrrrrrr!
—The Dread Pirate Terry

I think the reason I love Pirate Day so much is that I had a horrible speech impediment in grade school where I couldn’t say my r’s (you can still hear it if you listen closely, but please don’t). Now I’m making up for it with some extra Arrrrrr’s. The infamous Meebo Pirate emoticon

[More pirate after the jump] Continue reading

The death of a lens

Weird and unfair
Weird and unfair
Somewher in ATL, Atlanta, Georgia

Nikon D200, Nikon 85mm f/1.4D
1/60sec @ f/1.4, iso 180, 85mm (127m)

I didn’t take this photo, though it is one of three such shots of the same thing on my memory card. The camera was in my luggage at the time so I can only guess that this photo was shot by the TSA during inspection all the while I waiting to board an airplane.

(I guess this sort of explains why my luggage didn’t arrive with me.)

The unfair part is when they opened my luggage, they somehow either took off the rear lens cap or didn’t replace it correctly on my Nikkor 12-24mm f/4G DX lens (a $1000 lens and my favorite lens for shooting) thus causing the rear element to collapse into the lensbody during transport.

The lesson here is to carry your photo equipment with you on the airplane. But I appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with the situation at hand. The lens is under extended warranty but I doubt Nikon is going to replace something that is clearly the TSA’s fault. (Um, yes, Nikon, it is a manufacturing defect that when someone takes off the protective lens cap and then places it back in a bag of luggage and electronics for a transcontinental flight that your rubber mount gave and the plastic ring cracked.)

This lens is dead
This lens is dead
North Beach, San Francisco, California

Nikon D200, Nikon 85mm f/1.4D, Canon 500D diopter
1/40sec @ f/2.8, iso 160, 85mm (127mm)

By the way, While I don’t do much airplane traveling (just twice a year), but every time I travel, my luggage is opened and searched. This is the first time since 9/11 that I haven’t had a slip in my luggage saying that to “protect me and my fellow passengers.”

Social newsfeeds make relationships so much easier

A cute feed item
Definitely the most fun feed item. It’s like live daytime soaps.

First, Yahoo! Mash is up. It used to be called Yahoo! Mosh, but since Nokia has a beta product called Mosh, they changed it.

Surprisingly they kept “Pulse” which is direct conflict with Plaxo Pulse.

Go figure.

Speaking of Pulse, feeds, and other things… [after the jump] Continue reading

Ruby, Photography, and Women

My second twitterstalk was Andrei at Caffe Trieste in North Beach. Andrei is someone everyone should be nice to for reasons I mentioned before. He’s trying to get me back into photography.

I think it’s because he has a photoblog now…

and probably figures that getting my competitive juices flowing will be the photography equivalent of dollar-nassau. But I hate to compete and the only thing that motivates me is, quite frankly, intense fear. And besides, what chance do I have? As Ed Finkler says, the man’s got scary amounts of kevorka:

This White Russian smiles
This White Russian smiles
CNET Headquarters
SOMA, San Francisco, California

Nikon D200, Tokina 16-50mm AT-X PRO f/2.8 DX. SB-800
1/60sec @ f/2.8, iso 100, 38mm (47mm)

Go subscribe to his blog now (besides the pictures are good, quite unlike mine).

[cats, coffee, photography, ruby, and women after the jump] Continue reading

…and I still haven't written my talk

Apparently, I’m giving a talk at php|works in Atlanta on Friday. My talk should be just interesting enough to avoid it.

This year, I need to change it up and go low key on my mad Apple Keynote skills. (What? You think it’s because I still have yet to make an outline for my talk? Have you been twitter stalking me again?) That’s okay, because according to Ed I’m most likely to pull a “Drunken Batman.”

Not to sure if he means this or this, but I’m guess probably both.

See you there!

Continue reading