“I’m really low on my scatological count here…I’m sorry I didn’t crack enough jokes or use enough [cuss words], but I’m sure people will forgive me. They can just attend one of my talks and get their cuss quota for the year. And if not, coding these web apps themselves involves a lot of swearing—a lot of blood, sweat and swear.”
—me on Pro PHP Podcast
This is actually another one of my infamous PHP job postings. But because the people of CNET are so cool, I thought I’d preface it with a couple of CNET stories first.
(I honestly don’t know if I should blog this. I have a standing invite to visit CNET networks next week and, knowing Mager and Potter, they’ll probably use this to embarrass me when I do. But I promised for weeks that I’d blog the jobs.)
CNET needs to host a Lunch 2.0
CNET Networks, SOMA, San Francisco, California
This is why nobody follows me and even my friends have turned off updates.
I just can’t seem to explain my experiences in 140 characters. Maybe I should have titled this blog “The Circumlocution.” Oh well, at least two people asked me about this confusing tweet after my plane landed.
But it’s really quite a simple story, even if I can’t tell it right.
Text reads: Ahoy me mateys and buxom wenches!
The day ’tis ripe fer Talk Like A Pirate.
Ye be talkin’ like a pirate or ye be a scurvy bilge rat!
—The Dread Pirate Terry
I think the reason I love Pirate Day so much is that I had a horrible speech impediment in grade school where I couldn’t say my r’s (you can still hear it if you listen closely, but please don’t). Now I’m making up for it with some extra Arrrrrr’s.
I didn’t take this photo, though it is one of three such shots of the same thing on my memory card. The camera was in my luggage at the time so I can only guess that this photo was shot by the TSA during inspection all the while I waiting to board an airplane.
(I guess this sort of explains why my luggage didn’t arrive with me.)
The unfair part is when they opened my luggage, they somehow either took off the rear lens cap or didn’t replace it correctly on my Nikkor 12-24mm f/4G DX lens (a $1000 lens and my favorite lens for shooting) thus causing the rear element to collapse into the lensbody during transport.
The lesson here is to carry your photo equipment with you on the airplane. But I appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with the situation at hand. The lens is under extended warranty but I doubt Nikon is going to replace something that is clearly the TSA’s fault. (Um, yes, Nikon, it is a manufacturing defect that when someone takes off the protective lens cap and then places it back in a bag of luggage and electronics for a transcontinental flight that your rubber mount gave and the plastic ring cracked.)
This lens is dead
North Beach, San Francisco, California
By the way, While I don’t do much airplane traveling (just twice a year), but every time I travel, my luggage is opened and searched. This is the first time since 9/11 that I haven’t had a slip in my luggage saying that to “protect me and my fellow passengers.”
and probably figures that getting my competitive juices flowing will be the photography equivalent of dollar-nassau. But I hate to compete and the only thing that motivates me is, quite frankly, intense fear. And besides, what chance do I have? As Ed Finkler says, the man’s got scary amounts of kevorka:
This White Russian smiles
SOMA, San Francisco, California
Nikon D200, Tokina 16-50mm AT-X PRO f/2.8 DX. SB-800
1/60sec @ f/2.8, iso 100, 38mm (47mm)
This year, I need to change it up and go low key on my mad Apple Keynote skills. (What? You think it’s because I still have yet to make an outline for my talk? Have you been twitter stalking me again?) That’s okay, because according to Ed I’m most likely to pull a “Drunken Batman.”
Not to sure if he means this or this, but I’m guess probably both.