Bernadette

I first met Bernadette at the Reddit Party last year. (Coincidentally, there is another Reddit party in San Francisco tonight.) She was hiding in the corner and caught me taking her photo so I introduced myself “to not make it seem as creepy as it is.”

She recently started blogging so read her blog! (Now if only Mager can get her on twitter—whoops, scratch that.)

Every so often since that party, she’ll say something just to get a rise out of me followed by a disarming smile or a laugh. Luckily I can’t hear it over the party noise, so my reaction makes me seem all cool and “mysterious” when really my hearing is just going.

A lot of people seem to think the stuff I write is fiction—that this is some made up character or persona I craft for myself. Or I’m just a very talented liar with a good memory. But no, this stuff really happens. I don’t have that good of an imagination.

Luckily, my friends do. I count Bernie as one of them.

B.B.

Goodbyes and hellos

I just get back from Amsterdam and two of our engineers are leaving Tagged and we have a lot of job openings.

One of the departing wrote an interesting e-mail on leaving which I’ll quote below and maybe it’ll give you an idea what it’s like working here. But first, some open job reqs…

[Tagged Jobs Reqs and farewell after the jump. Read on! It’s worth it.]Continue reading Goodbyes and hellos

Features I wish the iPhone had

Yesterday, after the iPhone 3G announcement, someone at work made a comment, “For $200, there is no reason not to get an iPhone.”

I thought that shows we engineers have a serious lack of imagination.

The reasons I gave at the time to him are no different that this Gizmodo article.

Still shows a serious lack of imagination.

On my way to work, between swigs from my water bottle and wondering why God turned up the brightness and volume on the world today, I decided that the deal-killing feature the iPhone 3G was missing is a free “booty call” feature.

iPhone 3G

I wish phones came with that.

iPhoneDevCamp

Last night I met Dom of iPhoneDevCamp. He mentioned that a lot of people are registering for iPhoneDevCamp 2 (August 1-3 in San Francisco) and will likely be filled up before the event. So register now.

Hangovers

At least you made it home alive, Terry.

Last night I prayed at the porcelain altar.

The Long Tail of the Ballmer Peak should never be experimentally determined.

I remembered that I spent most of my time in college, between problem sets, in a dynamic equilibrium consisting of an elevated state of inebriation and wishing I was dead.

…or maybe theoreticians like you should stay out of the lab.

Like one time, we decided to carol all of Caltech with the main verse of “Terriers are My Favorite Animal.

This is why you cultivate an abusively low tolerance for alcohol, Terry

After about two dorms it became, “Terry is my favorite animal. Terry weighs about 20lbs…”

Just make it end.

And by the time we finished at Ruddock House, it had pretty much become a solo: “I weigh about 20lbs. I help the aged…”

Please, please, I promise I won’t do this again.

That’s when J— got the idea that we had to protect all the eggs in the house.

What comes after bargaining?

We raided the place for all the “safe sex” condoms.

I shouldn’t have eaten anything.

Then we into every refrigerator and proceeded to individually condom every egg we found in there.

Was that just my liver that came out?

Yeah, I know it sounds hilarious.

Uh oh. This is the part where parts of your body haven’t been told there is nothing left to eject.

But imagine you lived in Ruddock House and needed a hangover breakfast and found all your eggs individually condomed.

Note to self: Alcohol is the devil.

I’m glad I lived in Page House.

I wish I was dead.

Update:

When geeks rule politics

From Chris Kelly’s article on Huffington Post:

One good thing about Hillary proclaiming her right to a four-day national non-concession? We’ll never have to wonder what it would have been like if she’d been elected and that phone in the White House had rung at three AM.

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
Hello?

KIM JONG IL
All your base are belong to us!!! You are on the way to destruction!!! You have no chance to survive make your time!!!

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
Can I call you back? I need at least a week for this to sink in.

(Personally, I’d move ZIG for great justice.)

Weird factoid. Back when this meme was first forming, you could type “All Your Base” into K-Mart’s website search box, and it would say. “Geeks like you also bought…”

Statistics

As I mentioned before, everyone in my family but me is an expert at statistics. It’s hard to explain…

When my brother was angry that O.J. got away with it, my dad calmed him down by pointing out that in was a natural consequence of our legal system minimizing Type II error.

When my mom pointed out how unfair it was that her children were the highest rated teachers in their departments and she was the lowest rated in hers, my brother joked, “That’s just mean reversion, mom.”

I won’t get into how many times we’ve seriously argued about what the proper null for our discussion was…

Which brings me to last night’s dinner after Spontaneous Drinking Night, with my geek friends:

Statisticians

(Sometimes I think I’m living in an xkcd comic.) Also apologies to Benjamin Disraeli…and my family 😉

Astronauts

The child on the bus has just entered the quizzical-pointing phase.

Child: “Why are we stopped? Where is the bus driver, mommy?”

Mom: “Oh! I think she just stepped out to go the bathroom.” *laughs*

Child: “Why? She’s a big person and she’s wearing underwear.”

And I think to myself, How thoroughly practical—that kid will grow up to be an astronaut, for sure.