She says to me at 1 AM: “I’m so glad I sucked the snot out of our son’s nose… it wasn’t really gross at all.”
This was a short while after she showed me his boogies in the snot sucker with far more pride than when she showed me her finisher’s medal after her first triathlon.
Apparently, the sucker has a filter in it… or something.
Something I learned today…
Babies can develop blisters on lips because of vigorous breastfeeding
My son shows he is clearly a milk vampire.
By the afternoon, with the air quality getting a little better, M— was beyond tired, so Benjamin took took me in his ride, a Chicco KeyFit 30 Caddy, “cruisin’ for some chicks” (his words, of course, not mine). We were going stir-crazy at home anyway.
Because the warm weather, he wanted to just buckle up and jet and show his rockin’ bod he and mommy have been working on for the last 10 months, but M— thought the seat restraints would chafe his new baby skin and selected a dinosaur shirt from Auntie Nora that all the honey babies in his life (Mommy) thought made him look cute. While it did cover up his awesome guns, he finally relented, and we were off to give M— some much needed rest for a couple hours
We walked through the park, and, on the way back, he thought mommy would like some food to keep her milk all nice and yummy so we picked up some egg bread, spam musubi, and Garlic Noodle w/Pan Seared Prawn on the trip home. He even survived his first diaper change in the field (though, mommy was right: I should have packed more wipes and diapers in the Pronto Changing Station).
Unfortunately, other than a few comments about how cute he was, he didn’t get to pick up any chicks. I thought it meant I failed as a wingman, but Benjamin blames the ‘rona.
Fuck Trump.
Here is a selfie of just him and the boys.
Clara Health has asked Checkr to run your background check
One of our current clients requested that we do background checks on individuals. Being on maternity/paternity leave, I’d normally ignore it until later, but Checkr is quite persistent when you ignore them, so I got it off my queue before what-pathetic-excuse-counts-for-sleep last night.
This morning:
I had to announce my relief to the company.
Me: Got my background check back. Relieved to find out I’m not a sex offender anywhere.
J—: im happy for you
Me: I’m relieved too! Forwarded it to M—. She mentioned she knows the CEO of Checkr from a mobile startup, and then said, without skipping a beat, “Okay, baby, we can keep daddy around now that we know he checks out.”
(This is probably revenge for all the times I look at my son and declare to M—, “I guess I think we’ll keep him.”)
Anyone else do the beginning Rocky training montage before changing an especially poopy diaper, or is it just me?
I do it right after I pop open the wet wipes and ready a fresh diaper, but before I start changing. M— always laughs when she sees the air punches.
If I haven’t been peed on and he isn’t crying by the end of it, I totally do the top top-of-the-Philadelphia-Museum-of-Art-steps thing.
Otherwise, I’m cuddling and comforting him. I totally relate to the unfunness of having cold water touch your pee pee area.