I love teasing Zend and right now their conference, the largest PHP conference in the world, is going on.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ll be giving my talk on “The Internet is an Ogre” tomorrow at 10 AM. It’s a fun talk so you better go see it! (Besides, if everyone goes to this, I’ll have satisfied my life-long dream of rasmussing Coogle’s talk. :-D)

As a teaser, I might point out that Keith Casey finally gave me and my talk the proper billing it deserves, in front of BoingBoing, the Foo fighters, Joel on Software, and digg!

The presenter list is once again extensive and includes Terry Chay, Cory Doctorow, Chris Shiflett, Joel Spolsky, and Eli White.. with sponsors ranging from Microsoft to Oracle to Zend.

This ordering has everything to do with talent and relevance and nothing to do with something as arbitrary as alphab… (Why yes, I haven’t seen Andrei’s talk on ICU collation keys, why do you ask?)

If you aren’t attending ZendCon, then stop by to H2.O- a free Happy Hour 2.0 at ZendCon. I’m told the exhibit hall will have lots of space so you can meet all these cool people of the PHP world—I guarantee, they’re “nerd-orable.”

Oh yeah, stop by and say hi to me. I’ll be the drunk photographer mooching all the free food and drink:

Moving forward…

[Terry Chay, Terry Chay, Terry Chay after the jump]

My master plan in full force

I stopped by ZendCon last night. I was with Ilia Alshanetsky when an attendee recognized me.

Me: “Hey, this is Ilia.”

attendee: “The name sounds familiar.”

“Wait, you don’t know Ilia who is managing the PHP 5.2 releases, but you know me, who hasn’t contributed one line of code to PHP? That’s… like… bullshit.” 😀

More terry chay

In the latest Pro::PHP Podcast, there is a little discussion my PHP talk (which you will go see tomorrow because you have gathered that it is firmly planted in awesome-town!) and a lot of discussion of me :-D.

I have transcribed the only interesting snippets so you don’t have to slog through it all:

Some people talk about me (my ego gets pumped, Tokyo is consumed by a fireball…again)

Paul Reinheimer: Anyways moving forward: Why PHP trounces Ruby. Terry Chay… Terry Chay… Terry Chay… [Three times!]

Sean Coates: Yeah. Again! [Yes, I love hearing my name.]

Paul: He’s good. He linked to me and a picture of a blog. [link]

Sean: And a picture of me! [link. I want that shirt, so do all my Java buddies!]

Paul: And a picture of you. Mom, if you look at that picture, it’s water. It just looks like tequila and vodka.

Sean: Yeah, don’t… don’t look at… There’s tequila there?

Paul: He did the other quad core picture. One of them is me drinking four vodka tonics.

Sean: Yeah.

Paul: and one is two things with tequila and two things of vodka. This is…See the taller glasses have tequila and the shorter glasses have vodka.

Sean: You mean the taller glasses have soda and the shorter glasses have water.

Paul: Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. Thank you. [Explain this then…]

Sean: Yes. Hi, Paul’s mom! [Hi!]

Paul: Umm, this is. He did a great talk at php|works. It was really funny. [Where’s my bobble-head again?]

Sean: Yeah. It was the only talk I sat in for the whole thing there. Just because we’re so busy and it’s difficult to get away from the desk, but we were all in there and it was just such a good talk…

Paul: That’s right.

Sean: and I’m not just saying that because we like to see Terry’s name. It’s just… I thought it was probably one of the best PHP talks I’ve ever been to. [Look, I already paid for the last blow job puff piece you gave, you’re not getting a check this time.]

Paul: 56 swear words?

Sean: Haha. I didn’t count. [Love the cannuck accent there, almost as much as how surprised they get when I cuss.]

Paul: Those were all… no I did. Those were only good ones too. Like “crap” doesn’t count.

Sean: If you are easily offended, don’t attend a Terry Chay talk. [Unless you like being offended. I take no prisoners!]

Paul: No.

Sean: If you’re not, or can suppress your offense for an hour then definitely go see a Terry Chay talk. [Terry: What is best in presentation? “To crush your enemies—See them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women!]

Paul: And, umm…He just talks about PHP vs. Ruby, why PHP is winning and he links back to in references…

Sean: …in the blog post…

Paul: Yeah, sorry, yes.

Sean: His talk was completely different it was also very interesting…

Paul: …about social networking. and going viral and all sorts of fun stuff. Umm, and then his blog post also referenced a link to this article up on O’Reilly that’s getting a lot of hype right now which is Seven Reasons I switched back to PHP after two years on Rails. [The most disturbing talk…is: “The Internet is an Ogre!” Now’s the time on Sprockets when we dance.]

[Listen to the rest.]

Please come see my talk or visit me during the free as in speech and free as in beer Happy Hour! See you there!

[tags]PHP, Ruby, scalability, talk, Lunch 2.0, terry chay, Paul Reinheimer, Ilia Alshanetsky, PHP 5.2, Sean Coates, Keith Casey, Cory Doctorow, Chris Shiflett, Eli White, Joel Splotsky, ZendCon, Ogre, Conan, sprockets[/tags]