The Rubbernecking Theory of Google Glasses

[John Gruber writes][]:

One of these guys is wrong.

It’s [possible][wiki:false dilemma] that they’re both right in what they observed, but both wrong in trying to derive a conclusion from their observations.

[John Gruber writes]: http://daringfireball.net/linked/2013/05/20/glass-io “Two Takes on Google Glass at I/O—Daring Fireball”
[wiki:false dilemma]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_dilemma “False dilemma—Wikipedia”
Continue reading about false dichotomies and false conclusions after the jump

Some of your clients are clearly misogynist tourists

She complains, “There’s just no appreciation on their end. I got them ___, and they’re still trying to tell me how to do my job. It’s so frustrating. I have clients that I feel I’m under-servicing and this one takes up all my time. They have a low retainer, but they act like they own me. That’s the last time I let them talk me down on my retainer.”

“You shouldn’t have let that happen so you shouldn’t be surprised.”

“How so?”

“I once visited Venice when I was a kid. Many stores didn’t have prices, but some of the stores did. No matter which, you didn’t have to pay the listed prices — there was an expectation that you could haggle over the price.”

“And?”

“Well with this client: they don’t know your field so they don’t know what the expectation is. **You** set that. Letting yourself get talked down on that amount is like buying something in Venice. Imagine if we were in the United States, and someone walked into your store and said, ‘Hey, I know it says it cost $15, but how about I give $10?’”

She laughs.

“Exactly! The only place you can do that here is at a car dealership. If you treated their counteroffer like you just treated this hypothetical, they would have learned to go somewhere else and be someone else’s problem, or deal with you on the terms you set. When you created your own business, it was because you didn’t want companies to feel they owned you, and you wanted to be free to be honest with them. You need to set those terms down in this way.”

“Yeah, they said that they wanted _____ in the long term but didn’t have enough money right now, so they wanted a two month contract at a lower rate to try it out. I should have known they never really valued the work I do.”

“That’s another thing right there! Imagine, I was single right now and asking you out. What if I told you, ‘Hey, I really want have a committed relationship and get married someday. Why don’t we fuck so I can try you out?’ Would you?”

“When you put it that way, definitely not.”

“Exactly.”

Combining

“I am so tired of stupid people, Terry. So tired of the people that say stupid things like, ‘Combining fruits and nut butters is dangerous for your health because… [food combining](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_combining)!’”

Me: “Just tell them that ‘combining your brain and your mouth is dangerous for **my** health because… the stupid: **it burns**!”

Enterprise job recruiting

> Hi Terrence,
>
> I am following up on previous emails and calls. I am doing some research on PHP. I understand that you are focused on [canonical model](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canonical_Model) management, [SOA](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service-oriented_architecture) or [ESB](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterprise_service_bus) initiatives. Do you have 10 minutes for a quick call tomorrow afternoon?
>
> The [redacted] platform enables rapid service design, construction, and management all from a Canonical Model. This enables the following:
> 1) Your services are managed in our repository aligned to all of your business capabilities
> 2) Impact analysis on how a change from a provider system ([Logical Model](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logical_data_model)) can impact the Canonical and other services
> 3) Rapidly propagate the changes to the impacted services
> 3) Rules based [version management control](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Version_control)
> 4) Mapping provider systems to the canonical model reduces the number of mappings required by over 99% for a complex integration projects.
>
> I know this is a busy time of year. If someone else is better suited for this discussion, can you please refer me to them?

I understood every third word.

The other day, I sat through a presentation from from an enterprise consultant, they had an 8 category scrum chart just for feature choice and a 10 category one for development. The former had categories like: “paths to insight” -> “validation” -> “harvesting”, so I spent most of my time imagining what would happen if people were story cards that ended up dying due to being harvested at the end of validation due to improper paths to insight.

Maybe if they spent less time throwing verbiage and more time doing, [Enterprise](http://terrychay.com/article/php-enterprise-scalability.shtml) [wouldn’t](http://terrychay.com/article/php-pro-con.shtml) [be such](http://terrychay.com/article/php-enterprise-myths.shtml) [a joke](http://terrychay.com/article/enterprise-scalability.shtml).

22 categories? **This** is agile?

My theory is that someone with [Wernicke’s aphasia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke%27s_encephalopathy) would make [a killing in Enterprise software development](http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=wernicke%27s+aphasia).