“I’m trying to take a moment and see things from his perspective,” I comment to another parent as a teacher takes my son aside for a walk because he was running around instead of “dancing” to Soda Pop like the other children in morning circle.

I then explain to her why.

…

The day before, I’m taking Benjamin to taekwondo class. As usual when it’s me and not M—, I’m cutting it close and rushing as class was starting in less than a minute, and I haven’t put on his dobok yet.

I started muttering to myself, “I still don’t know how to tie the belt.” Then, Benjamin wanders off as I was in the middle of trying to knot his belt!

I tried to remain calm by thinking to myself: It’s no big deal if class has started and he joins late. But I’m really thinking: Why the heck is he looking at a stand of papers when he should be letting me try to tie his belt?

He grabs a piece of paper from the stand, brings it back, and hands it to me. It is titled: “How to tie your belt.”

…

The parent had just seen another mother give me a gift basket for M—. (That itself had only happened because a few days before Benjamin had said something in front of her.)

“Something is going on with his mom right now, and this is his way of dealing with it. I need to not take his behavior personally, try to take a moment, and see things from his perspective.”

”That’s a really great story, you should write that down,” she says.

Now, we can see a different teacher is taking him aside to talk to him. I know it’s going to be one of those days.

…

After pickup, we’ll get an e-mail asking to escalate the pending parent-teacher conference. When I read it, I couldn’t help but think,They’re going to feel like shit when M— tells them what was going on these last few months.

Maybe if the teachers had taken a moment and asked me, or checked in with the person who they designated to coordinate exactly these sorts of things for the school, they wouldn’t have taken his behavior personally, and jumped to wrong conclusions.

But I did.

But I do.

Yes, I could see it was going to be one of those days, but I’m trying to take a moment.