Toilet Paper Chicken

Posted on 1 November 2010 by Terry Chay

“Ahh,” a friend sighs to me. “I just had to buy some rolls of toilet paper!”

“That happens sometimes,” I reply thoughtfully.

“No, they’re for my place and I’m not even living there.”

“How did that happen?”

“My roommates ran the toilet paper down.”

“So why didn’t they get some?”

“Well I have two. One is leaving and using my bedroom; the other is just moving in and using the other bedroom.”

“Oh!… Umm?”

“Well I guess one figured since she’s leaving she doesn’t need to get new toilet paper. And the other figures she’s just moved in and shouldn’t be buying toilet paper either.”

“So they’re just playing a big game of chicken over the toilet paper?!”

“I guess so.”

(Roommates. I’m so glad I don’t have them. Can you imagine this game? The moment you “win” congratulations; you’re MacGyver now.)

Satanism… or worse

Posted on 18 October 2010 by Terry Chay

Girlfriend: “Everyone was asking about me—even family members. It’s probably better I wasn’t invited to her wedding. I know what would have happened if I showed up. Her mom would have come up to me and said, ‘So, how is your walk with God doing?’ and then she would have asked me about you.”

Boyfriend: “You should just tell them I’m a Satanist.”

Girlfriend: “Hah! Instead of a Catholic? That would have gone over well.”

Boyfriend: “Or… even worse, that I believe President Obama was born in Hawaii. That would have really freaked them out!”

>:)

Our Lucy Liu

Posted on 8 October 2010 by Terry Chay

In the Japantown parking lot, my girlfriend starts the topic:

Her: My roommate, Nora, moved down to Los Angeles the other week.

Me: Yeah?

Her: …and already someone down there stopped her in the street and told her she looks like Lucy Liu.

Me: Oh God! She looks nothing…

Her: Yeah, anytime white guys see a pretty asian girl, they say she looks like Lucy Liu.

Me: Ha! …or Michelle Yeoh.

Her: Because they’re the only two asian people they know.

Me: And if it’s a guy it’ll be Chow Yun Fat or Jet Li.

Her: White guys thinks it’s a compliment. But what they’re really saying is, ‘All Asians look alike to me.’”

Nora and friend Steak A5A, North Waterfront, San Francisco, California Nikon D3, Nikkor 24mm f/1.4G, SB-900 1/24sec @ ƒ/2, iso2000, 24mm Nora at her going away party. (For you white people, Nora is the one in the picture that looks like Lucy Liu.)

Me: I wonder which one they say I look like?

Her: Umm……

Me: …probably Michelle Yeoh.

(If she wasn’t parking at that moment, she’d have hit me.)

Nora Steak A5A, North Waterfront, San Francisco, California Nikon D3, Nikkor 24mm f/1.4G, SB-900 1/25sec @ ƒ/2, iso2000, 24mm Now that you mention it, she does sort of remind me of Chow Yun Fat.